What Depression Feels Like
I always thought talking about depression and how I was feeling, would come across as attention seeking, miserable and ungrateful. Talking about depression can only be a good thing, helping to fight the stigma. Depression is not just about feeling sad. It is a mental health condition. Everyone has their own experiences and thoughts on how depression makes them feel.
Depression for me feels exhausting, a feeling of being completely drained no energy whatsoever, body aches and pains, anxiety, low self - esteem and self - worth, irritable at the slightest thing, and teary outbursts. Decision making is not easy, concentration levels, changing my mind again and again, not knowing what i’m supposed to be doing in life. Sleep problems, thoughts racing…
I would describe my depression as being trapped in a bubble or a giant black cloud with no way out. Depression is a very lonely dark place, a feeling of being lost and detached from everything and everyone around you.
It can creep in at any time and sometimes I don’t even know the reason. This makes me feel guilty when there are so many people worse off. It doesn’t change the way my depression still lingers on though. It’s really hard to see past the negativity that surrounds depression. With so many negative thoughts going on, being positive isn’t always easy. Depression makes it really hard to see and notice what’s actually happening around you.
It’s taken me a long time to realise how serious depression affects my way of living. Although my social anxiety isn’t the only factor I do know it makes my depression more difficult to deal with. I feel extremely lucky to have a family who pick up on any changes in my behaviour when I’m not myself. Although I don’t feel like I appreciate it at the time, this is much needed support when im feeling low and unworthy. Just knowing I have people who care. I’m forever grateful for the positive people I have in my life who are always there to support and encourage me in my darkest days.
I suffer with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and social anxiety but i'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t realise how much of a deep depression I was in and how much I was so disconnected from others around me. I can’t stress enough to TALK, TALK TALK.
I’ve gradually started to make changes to my life, changing my eating habits, exercising everyday even if its just a walk, noticing and spending more quality time with family, slowing down and making time for myself watching the world go by. Setting time to relax whether its reading or listening to music, and not looking at my phone as much with negative news. Making these changes have all helped improve my mood.
There’s more changes and im not there yet. Depression does try to creep back in from time to time but i’m learning my triggers and the things that help me. Focusing on what makes me happy. Really pushing myself to get to where i want to be.
Although life’s events cannot always be changed I tell myself theirs no point stressing over things I can’t change. I remind myself that life is not a rehearsal, you only live once and that life is for living. I try thinking of all the good things in life, and remind myself that life is what you make it. You can overcome this in time and with the right help. If you don't have supportive family or friends talk to your GP, I can’t stress enough to TALK, TALK TALK.